The Lonely Life Of Envy Adams
by Baz The Storyteller
Summary: Envy Adams' career and relationships are on the rocks. She realizes that Scott was the only man who treated her right. She plans to get back together with Scott. Will it work?


THE LONELY LIFE OF ENVY ADAMS

Poor Envy Adams. Her career isn't going too well and neither is her relationships. She's has been suffering from depression because of those things. She tried to remember the last time she was happy. Then she remembered: The only time she was happy was when she was with Scott. All of Envy's other boyfriends were assholes and treated her like shit. Scott was the only one who treated her right. She had an epiphany: If she gets back together with Scott, she'll be happy again. Also, she wanted to make it up to Scott for being a real bitch to him. But Scott was with Ramona.

One night, when drinking with her friends, she asked them "What has Ramona Flowers got that I haven't got?" They all answered "Great body", "Great legs", "She's gorgeous", "Great hair, I liked it in Volume 5 when it was long", "She can kick ass", "Great personality", "Doesn't take shit from anyone", "I hear that she's great in bed" and "In a nutshell, Ramona Flowers IS sex."

This made Envy... well, jealous. Envy wanted Scott back and she had to get rid of Ramona. Envy was living in LA at the time and decided to fly back to Toronto. She was going to get Scott back once and for all.

When she arrived in Toronto, she visited her parents whom she never saw in years because she more focused on her career. They got to know each other after all these years and Envy asked them were Scott was. They said they didn't know. But Envy thought that maybe Julie Powers might know.

Envy visited Julie whom was very excited to see Envy. As we all know, Julie loves nothing more kissing Envy's ass because Envy made Scott's life a living hell. But she was shocked and felt sick when Envy said that she wanted to get back together with Scott. But then Julie thought, "Maybe Envy wants to play a really mean trick on him. If so, I'm in!" Julie told Envy that Scott and Ramona were in New York visiting Ramona's parents. They'll be back in a week. Envy immediately started brainstorming.

"I gotta look more sexier than ever before." She told Julie. "So sexy, that Ramona won't stand a chance." So her and Julie went shopping looking for the sexiest clothes that they can find. Envy had an idea of throwing a "Welcome back" party for Scott and Ramona. She was going to perform a little concert for Scott and Ramona and try to allure Scott with her performance. But since her career was on the rocks, she had no band. Where's the closest band she can find? And then it hit her: "Sex Bob-Omb."

Julie got in contact with Stephen Stills, who was living with Joseph. And Stephen got in contact with Kim Pine and Neil. Neil learned to play the guitar and decided to fill in Scott's shoes. They were a little suspicious of why Envy wanted their band to play with her. Envy said that she wanted to make up to Scott for being a real bitch to him. They sort of bought it, but were suspicious at the same time. Maybe Envy has a change of heart, they thought.

But what about Envy's former number 1 fan, Knives Chau? Well, she wasn't interested in Envy any more because Envy acted like a real bitch to her a few years ago. Knives is a lot older and wiser now and she decided to spy on Envy to see what she was up to. With the help of Wallace Wells of course. But to their surprise, Envy didn't act her usual way. What the hell?

With only a few days to go, Envy, Stephen, Kim and Neil started writing a welcome back song for Scott and Ramona. Envy, surprisingly didn't act like a real diva like she normally does. She also didn't dress in her usual diva way. This was very surprising to them.

Dare they admit it, they actually got along with Envy. She didn't act like a bitch to them. They spent hours every day rehearsing and rehearsing. Everything was going according to plan. The Welcome Back performance was going to take place in Lee's Palace. That night came along and many people were invited. Many of them included Scott's family and friends and their family and friends.

The band were backstage. Envy's hair was combed down and she was dressed in a white shirt, leather jacket and leather pants. She looked like a biker chick. "This is it." Envy thought, "I'm gonna win back Scott and make Ramona old news." Sure enough, Scott and Ramona showed up and everyone cheered. The band were still backstage. Envy wanted it to be a surprise. Before they came out, Scott had an announcement to make: He and Ramona are expecting a child.

This made Envy's heart sink. What?...

She couldn't believe it. Ramona is carrying Scott's child. She wasn't going to win back Scott now. Envy broke down in tears, she ran to her dressing room. The band came into the room and asked her what was wrong. She came clean and told them all why she was doing this. They couldn't believe it. All this time Envy was using them to win Scott back.

But then Knives came into the room. "Listen." She said "If you love Scott so much, the best thing you can do is be happy for them. You'll find someone, even if it takes years. Millions of guys in the world, one of them is Mr Right."

Envy nodded and understood. She walked to Knives and said "I wanna apologise for acting like a real bitch to you a few years ago." Knives smiled "Apology accepted. Now get out there, the people are getting restless!"

So, Envy and the band got out there and Envy announced "This song is for you, Scott Pilgrim! Ramona, you be good to him now! I'm sure you'll make great parents!" Kim announced "WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1, 2, 3, 4!" And they gave a rocking show. The crowd went wild and loved their performance. After the show, Envy went to the bar and met a man who was her age claiming to be a music producer. Envy was kind of worried he might be like Gideon, but he wasn't. So Envy and the band signed a contract and began to tour the country. Envy's career was back on track again. Sex Bob-Omb were playing well and life was going swell for all of them.

THE END


End file.
